Frequently Asked Questions (in no particular order)

[Somebody stole/you forgot/I hope you find] the other half of your bicycle.

(Yes, I really hear this several times a day.)
Pfaugh, the training wheel?

Do you do chainsaws, too?


Is that really faster than walking?


Where did you get these nice juggling balls?

Pat LaDue, Box 412, Mendocino, CA 95460. $10 for 3. They are nice, aren't they? I know several 9-ball jugglers who favor them.

Why do you know all the words to that song, if you hate it so much?

Overexposure on both counts.

Wait, are you acting on the right or something?


How do those numbers work?

Read the siteswap FAQ.

Allen... that movie was fucked.

Is that a question?

(beat) Allen, where did you hear of the existence of this fucked movie?

I saw it once at Caltech/a friend from Caltech told me to see it.

Aren't your feet cold?


How many is that?


How many can you do?


Where did you get those colorful pants?

San Diego/Oxford/Paris/A juggling convention.

Wow! Do jugglers really have conventions?


What sort of math do you do?

Nowadays, symplectic geometry.

Why don't you perform?

The way I juggle - low, with very little body movement - is of virtually no interest to non-juggling audiences. I don't want to memorize a stand-up routine, and I'll be damned if I'll learn under-the-leg throws.

Are you growing a beard?

Oh yes, I'm putting a great deal of effort into it actually.

Why did you buy this awful CD?

It was four bucks.