Date: Thu, 09 Oct 1997 16:25:44 -0700

If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes,"
delete it immediately  WITHOUT reading it. This is the most
dangerous E-mail virus yet.

It demagnetizes the strips on all your credit cards, reprograms
your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR,
and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you
try to play. It will completely re-write your hard drive,
(and your soft drive too) Not only that, it will scramble
any disks that are even close to your computer.

It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting,
so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.

It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.

This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will
drink all your soda and leave dirty socks on the coffee table
when you are expecting company.

It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and
interfere with your car radio, so that you hear only static
or religious sermons while stuck in traffic.

When executed, "Badtimes" will also give you nightmares
about circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with
Nair and your Nair with Rogaine.  It will give you jock
itch and make you vulnerable to athlete's foot.

"Badtimes" will give you Dutch Elm disease and brown
patch. If the  "Badtimes" mail message is opened in a
UNIX environment, it will raise and leave up your toilet.
It will leave your hairdryer plugged in dangerously close
to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your
mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skim
milk with whole milk.

It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying
to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

These are just a few of the signs.

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

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