Date: Nov 11  1997

SHE WAS SO BLONDE.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box that said
"concentrate"
* she put lipsick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
* she got stabbed in a shoot-out
* she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK"
* she thought TuPac Shakur was a jewish holiday
* she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
* she sat on the tv and watched the couch
* she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
* she tried to drown a fish
* she thought a quarterback was a refund
* she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
* if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back
* they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade
* under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics"
* she tripped over a cordless phone
* she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
* at the bottom of the app. where it says "sign here", she put "Sagittarius"
* she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store
* it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes
* if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless
* she studied for a blood test - and failed
* she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center
* she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats
* she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train
* she sold the car for gas money
* when she saw "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got
  16 friends
* when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved
* she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill
* when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead
* when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said
* "Airport Left" she turned around and went home