A Short Guide to Comparative Religions
Taoism Shit happens.
Confucianism Confucius say, "Shit Happens."
Calvinism Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Buddhism If shit happens, it really isn't shit.
Seventh Day Adventist No shit happens on Saturdays.
Zen What is the sound of shit happening?
Hedonism There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Hinduism This shit happened before.
Mormon This shit is going to happen again.
Islam If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Moonies Only happy shit really happens.
Stoicism This shit is good for me.
Protestantism Let the shit happen to someone else.
Catholicism Shit happens because you are BAD.
Hare Krishna Shit happens rama rama.
Judaism Why does this shit always happens to US?
Zoroastrianism Shit happens half the time.
Christian Science Shit is in your mind.
Existentialism What is shit anyway?
Rastafarianism Let's smoke this shit.
Addendum to Short Guide to Comparative Religions
Episcopalians No shit! (anybody bring prunes?)
Calvinism By preordination this shit hath come to pass
Quakers ( ) s**t
Scott Paper Co. Aaah
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Last updated: September 24, 1996
Rich Chin, All rights reserved