My company's developmental F-18 windshield is being test flown at several bases across the country. It is flying in the desert north of LA. Is flies off a carrier in the Pacific. And it flies out of Cecil Field in Florida.
Did I say "flies?"
It seems that the Navy has a problem with the windshield-- the bugs that hit it leave marks. I can not imagine why bugs splatter on the windshield when the boys in blue fly it at speeds in excess of 600 miles an hour low over the EVERGLADES, but that is not important. When the ground crew cleans the windshield the grisly remains leave behind a hazy spot. This is a matter of some concern, enough so to jeopardize the whole program (over two years of work for the company). And they want the problem solved right now.
My boss: "Find out what kind of bug is doing this, and find out why. Then get some of the bugs. Then make a lab setup to perform bug impact testing." (With a perfectly straight face, no less.)
They're off and running..
A CD ROM telephone directory for the Eastern Sates provides a list of Universities in Florida. The first on the list is the University of Central Florida. The first number is for the School of Education (This seems redundant to me: a “School of Education” department at a University? But I digress.) The nice lady there transfers me to the Biology Department. I ask the secretary for "A biologist who knows something about entomology."
The biologist who knows something about entomology listens to my tail of woe, and laughs out loud. I might have been offended, except I laughed too. Still am. But he tells me, No, he does not know about insect chemistry. But he knows who to ask. Dr. Paul Skelly. If Dr. Skelly does not know the answer he will know who to ask.
Dr. Paul Skelly is the director of the Florida State Collection of Arthropods. Apparently this is a bug museum/state agency for tracking bug statistics for agricultural purposes. He wasn¹t in, but his assistant took a message. The assistant told me, concerning bugs, "Yep, there's acids in them all right." (Almost an exact quote.)
In the meantime, I go to a local pet store and buy a couple dozen crickets. The are sold as food for tarantulas and such, and get no better deal from me. I turn them over to the folks in the Materials lab for "harvesting" and testing against the coating. I can tell right away that they are going to get emotionally attached. (The lab workers, that is. The crickets just glare hatefully at everyone.)
I eventually get Dr. Skelly, who also is amused. He suggests that the bugs may leave marks on the windshield because "Some bugs are very hard. They have chitin in their shells, which are very... [pause, searching for the right word] hard, I guess is the word." Okay, he is smarter than I make him sound, but that is what he said. However, the physiology of bugs is not his specialty, so he refers me to Dr. Jim Nation.
Dr. Jim Nation is an entomologist on staff at the University of Florida. He does know about bug physiology. In fact, he knows about the "Love Bug." (So named for its habit of flying around two by two during mating season.) Or in Latin, “SomethingIforget nearctica”. These bugs swarm twice a year, in May and again in September. The swarms are so dense that they can block the radiator vents of cars, causing the cars to overheat. The remains, when left on car paint for more than a couple days, etch the paint.
Aha.
By now the chemists have determined that crickets do leave hazy spots on the coating. Not that they like the test, mind you. (Neither the crickets nor the chemists.) Walking in to the M & P lab I overhear, "Why am I the one who has to do this, just because I was the first one [to harvest the crickets]?" The damage is nowhere near as bad as the damage on the flight test windshield, but it is a start.
Most people assume (Dr. Skelly included) that the Love Bugs damage the paint because their blood is acidic. ("I say we take off and nuke it from orbit. Its the only way to be sure.") But Dr. Nation disagrees. He once "harvested" (my word, not his) a Love Bug and tested its blood with pH paper. It was close to neutral, in fact, about 7.5. (Very slightly basic, the opposite of an acid.) He thinks that the bacteria which live in the digestive tract of all bugs are responsible for the damage. The bacteria help in the digestion of lipids and carbohydrates, allowing bugs to eat things like wood and find them yummy. But after the bugs demise the bacteria goes to work on the bug itself, producing organic acids. Long chain fatty acids, probably in the 10 to 18 carbon range. I nod knowingly. These acids, the good doctor believes, are what damages the windows.
Phase One, Complete!
On to Phase Two, getting some of the bugs. Unfortunately, Dr. Nation does not think that I will find any bug vendors who deal in common insects like Love Bugs. Fortunately, all bugs should have similar chemistry, though to lesser degree than the aforementioned amorous arthropods. (My words, not his.)
So that's where I stand for now. Tomorrow I call DuPont and try to find a researcher who makes auto paint. Most car finishes these days use the same basic plastic type we used on the F-18 windshield, so they should have seen the same problem. I also need to modify either my black powder cannon or my air gun for use in bug impact testing. And you thought the real world was no fun. News as it happens.